Annotated

Proof Like Comey (Moves Like Jagger Parody) – Annotated

I wrote a parody of “Moves Like Jagger”.

It’s about the Comey memos.

I put the lyrics below the video, and I put lots of links inside the lyrics.

I’ve emphasized the timeliest link, which points to a list of ways you can watch the Comey testimony live on June 8, 2017. (That’s tomorrow, as of this writing.)

Cheers!

-Duke

Proof Like Comey

-whistling intro-

Collude in the dark

Cause it seems right

When wannabe Tsars

Hold your strings tight

And take me aside

With something to hide

Cause Flynn’s a good guy…

You wanted control

Of my process

But I did not fold

To your nonsense

You say I’m a nut

I showboat and stuff

I don’t give a fuck…

Cause of notes like this

You wanted me to stop and just let go

But I wrote it down in my memo

Building proof like Comey

I got that proof like Comey

I got that proooooof like Comey

I did not deny or condone you

But when I testify I might own you

With my proof like Comey

I got that proof like Comey

I got that proooooof

But maybe you’re raw

Cause you realize

You can’t rule us all

Like a real tyrant

Cause we have press

And balance and checks

So may I suggest

Bro.

Just get in your lane

And then stay there

I know you’ve been trained

Not to play fair

But I’m on alert

So if you subvert

I will bring the hurt

With some notes like this

You thought that I would stop if you said so

Instead I’ll take you down like fresh memos

With my proof like Comey

I got that proof like Comey

I got that proooooof like Comey

The power of my pen is like old news

A reading man would know that I’d quote you

With this proof like Comey

I got this proof like Comey

I got this proooooof like Comey

 —

You wanna know

How to be my goon

Just wait a second

(Friends, can you leave the room?)

Now if I share this secret

You’re gonna have to keep it

Nobody else can see this

Now listen hard

To my hushed advice

Call off the guards targeting my Russian ties

But don’t record what we said

And never ever leak it

Cause this is almost treason

Hey, wait! James, wait!

But I wrote that shit!

Try to tell a lie and I’ll roll you

I know a couple crimes that you spoke to

And there’s proof like Comey

I got that proof like Comey

I got that proooooof like Comey

You’re strung up by the tongue that controls you

I really hope your party disowns you

Over proof from Comey

They’ll get that proof from Comey

They’ll hear the truuuuuuth from Comey

P.S. If you’ve enjoyed reading any of the articles linked above, consider supporting the journalists who wrote them. A monthly subscription to a quality journalistic outlet you trust is a pretty small price to pay if you want to cut through the disinformative noise chamber that is social media and/or read articles that are (generally) less riddled with clickbait headlines, editing missteps, and plain old typos.